A miserable failure

Two posts in one night?
Well, the previous one actually was from my jotter last week, almost word for word.
But it got me thinking a bit more, that as many of these insights are where things have become fairly clear in my mind (at least), I felt I should post one where I haven't got the answer or even the first clue at the moment.

And it goes like this - after all that I've just said about serving, how do I apply the same principles to a work situation when I'm dealing with a person that speaks their mind, is far from encouraging and can often make quite personal comments to a wide audience on email.

You know the sort of person. Sometimes described as the "extra grace required" person.

The best I could muster today was to prune the sarcasm out of the first draft of my reply.

But, I still felt I'd got it wrong. A bit of a fraud when I'd just advised someone not to take a similar comment personally.

Answers from the jotter when they arrive.

And after all that....more.

As I stand there by the lightswitch, running through the lock-up checklist in my head, I'm thinking "why am I always the last to leave? Why is it that I am left with all those last little clearing-up jobs after everyone else has gone home?"
Well, in some ways, it's obvious - someone has to... but why me?

You see, I've been asking God for a while now to show me when the right time to move on should be (in many aspects). The answer seems quite clear at the moment. "Just you stay put - I've got plenty for you to do right where you are."

I guess when I know many around me who are experiencing change, what I'm being called to be is the thing that doesn't change - the familiar old bit of furniture that is always there. This seems especially pertinent for our new students who need something they can think of as "back home" which they have moved on from and becoming maybe a trusted ear or a sounding board for the new things.

I'm reminded of a simple verse in Mark 6, the second part of verse 45.
Jesus has just fed the 5000 - no small task especially seeing as that was the head count of only the men. So lets call it 10-12,000. He sends off the disciples and then stays until he's sent the crowds away.

Now, I know how long it takes to see off 30 young people at the end of an evening - one's lost his coat, another has ended up with someone else's phone, someone's mother got the time wrong and still another parent has fallen asleep and isn't answering the phone....ages.

So this verse says to me "I'm here for you, as long as it takes."
That's a real example of service to us all, especially after the catering event of all time.

And that's what I think he's saying to me.
"You're there to serve - as long as it takes. Stay where you are, you will be the last to leave."

And so, here I am. If you're done here, off you go, I want to switch the lights off.

What's that? You can't find your coat?

The Vine or the Wine?

I've always wanted a vine in my garden. Don't ask me why. Flowers, well, they're nice to look at, but they're not great to eat. Vegetables, that's the way forward. A vine, well there's something about the long term nurturing and the reward of some fruit each year. And grapes don't get nicked by the birds like strawberries do.
However, the wife has always told me - not in this house dear, we won't be here that long...
So, now we've been here 9 1/2 years I've put my foot down and planted one. I don't know if it'll even survive, let alone whether we'll ever get fruit off it. I'm going to enjoy trying though as it gets slowly trained up the garage wall. But, even if it doesn't fruit in the first 2 or 3 years, should that stop me planting it? What about the next owner, and the next? The oldest vine in the world is at Hampton Court, planted in 1768. Thats a lot of generations that have benfitted from its fruit.
And, yes, all this got me thinking. So many seem only to think about the short term. It's all about the fruit, and in this case perhaps the wine - what gives pleasure now. Should I only be concentrating on things that have an immediate result, and those that benefit me? Well, clearly not, else I wouldn't be doing youthwork. Maybe there isn't much excitement about tending vegetables in the garden and reading bedtime stories to the kids, but what about the longer term investment of these things? Perhaps things of which you'll never see the real results.

Matthew 6v19-21

Scale that mountain

It has become deeply symbolic. I'm not talking about my jotter, which my youngest walked off with and then filled several of its pages with random scribbles. No, the large mound of earth outside my house. You see, I've been building some decking in my back garden, and what I thought would be a few wheelbarrows of earth, actually turned into probably 20. So, how to get rid of it?
A skip or grab hire? Too expensive. Too much for trips to the dump or to hide in the compost bin or under various hedges. The ideas have run really thin, and not just because my jotter went walkabout. Things really do seem to be piling up lately, even after attending a management skills course that confirmed one of my top skills is "Ideation" meaning I don't even have to be awake to have ideas...

And then, out of the blue, a couple of unusual conversations lead to the loan of a trailer and meeting someone who has a large ditch in their back garden they need to fill. Surely not, is this the solution? Have I just been making a mountain out of a molehill and should just pay the money to have it removed?

No, the message seems to be quite clear - "I can provide solutions for what appear to be mountains in your life, but are actually just piles of earth - how much more will I provide for the real seemingly unsolveable problems? Trust me." This comes at a time when I am faced with a crossroads at work, and some serious decisions to make.

And Daniel, (3 1/2) has been telling me all along that this is Pontypandy mountain and he'll sort it out for me, as he scales it flinging clods of earth from the top with his little spade... Perhaps I should listen to him more.

Time travel

A wonderful thing, you might think. To travel back and change the past. To go forward and see the future...

I've often found myself stopping to think at random moments in time and taking stock. I guess it usually starts with staring at my feet. "What on earth are you wearing? When did you buy those? And, more to the point, why?"

Then the thought process goes... "if I had been teleported to this point in time and space from, say five years ago, or when I was at school (that's even longer ago, in case you didn't know) - would I know what on earth was going on... could I have possibly imagined being here? Would I have ever imagined my kids would look like this? (No, obviously they're far better looking.) Would I have ever imagined buying shoes that looked like this?"

It can be a slightly scary moment if you try and imagine yourself bluffing your way through a day at your job with, say, a 15-year old brain... you know, the one that says - "Woah, 33? that's old, that's years off. Would I have known what to say / do / where to go / who any of these people are? Would I have done a better job than I am doing now, what with being quite dozy and staring into space? Or would I be the shy, uncertain and lost 15-year old that I remember being?"

It's a thought process that, although very curious about what might happen and impatient to see the conclusion of something, is actually quite glad that there has been a long story in between. The journey that brought me here. The learning process and the vital steps that have meant I am prepared for the next step.

I then conclude that actually, I am not ashamed of my past and the things it has taught me, and neither do I want to know what's too far around the corner really, because I'm just not ready for it. And then I breathe a sigh of relief in the knowledge that someone does know all this, better still planned it all, and has just given me a dig in the ribs to remind me of this fact.

I'm still wondering about the shoes though...

Do something beautiful

I'd love to hear of some of the random acts of kindness that people have tried out from that site.

In the meantime, here's one that I know works with friends.

It's actually borrowed from our friends in Albania who, either out of the neccessity of not being able to afford much phone credit (despite all having mobiles!?) or from being quite inventive, or both, use an unanswered ring in a simple but effective way.

Whilst sometimes ringing and hanging up straight away might be used to signal "I'm leaving home now" for a pre-arranged meeting, it is often used simply to indicate "I'm thinking about you right now."

What a simple and powerful way to make someone's day, having previously told them what it means. Where so often (in my experience) a single ring is used as a nag for "why haven't you replied to my txt?", instead it becomes something to cheer up, to beam a thought or to send an e-hug.

Too sentimental? Have you gone soft Matt? Try it, you'll see!

Wouldn't it be good if... (2)

OK, so you're wondering where the rest of the "Wouldn't it be good if" list went. Me too.
And this blog is a vain attempt at trying to get back on topic, and end up with a list of top ten survival tips.
So, here it is: "Wouldn't it be good if we could take the Angels and Mortals scheme to the next level, beyond just encouraging words."
(This was bulletin board based anonymous posting scheme where young people were paired with another to be their angel and send them regular notes and pray for them)

It struck me, if we're thinking about how to have a good day, and cope with all that something like school throws at you - rather than ask the question "How can I make my day better?", perhaps one that you could ask instead is "How could I make someone elses day better?"

Then I stumbled on a site called random acts of kindness. And in fact, as Laura's idea, we shall be exploring this on Friday nights at 628.

Now, we're not much nearer the top ten list, but this could brighten up many a day. My daughters school have been trialling something called "playground buddies" for a while now.
This involves having a designated bench where you can go if you have no-one to talk to or play with. Then a playground buddy will come and sit with you.

To go even further than the random acts of kindness is to do them anonymously (yes you will have to be quite creative not to be found out!) - then you truly are putting other people first!

Galatians 5:22-23
1 Thessalonians 5:14-18

Wouldn't it be good if...

Well, here begins a small series of wouldn't it be good ifs.

In my youthwork travels, its become apparent that it would be good to have a top ten of school survival tips. Only problem is, I couldn't think of ten, so it didn't make it onto the bakery.
In fact, as I'm prone to distraction, (this must be a side-effect of a creative mind...) I thought a better place to start might be with what often goes wrong. To make sure the outcome of this is positive, we'll keep it realistic and not completely obvious - just the sort of things that some people need pointed out...!

So, here's the start of a list of how to guarantee a bad day:

1. Make sure you have argument first thing with your mum over something like ironing your shirt.
2. Skip breakfast. That way you can make sure you feel really crabby by mid morning.
3. Forget to call for your mate on the way to school OR miss the bus OR miss the train OR better still, get on the wrong bus or train, preferably in the opposite direction. This will get you points for upsetting your friend and being hopelessly late.
4. Ensure you have left your homework to the last minute so that you have to stay up very late getting it done, or facing the wrath of Mrs Gibbons the biology teacher. Staying up late will help with the memory and general doziness to carry out number 3.


With the comments facility on the blog, I'm sure we'd very quickly have more than ten to be able to pick a top 10 from.